"Idol" makes me feel old

Yup, “American Idol” time again.

They’re singing songs from the year they were born tonight. Let the “I’m So Old” feelings commence.

Poppy called out that she needed “to make a stinky one” just before Ramiele started, so I didn’t see her performance. According to Rockford, though, she didn’t do very well. He tells me she sang “some song from 1987.” Thanks, Al.

Jason Castro is singing something I’ve never heard before. “Fragile,” I think — Paula, who looks like a circus performer this evening, tells me it’s a Sting number. It wasn’t bad, but it was very … ’87. Which is appropriate, I guess, since that’s Jason’s year, too.

I can’t believe Syesha did the Creepy Baby thing again. And she was in SparkleMotion. She sang “If I Were Your Woman,” which affirmed two things for me: I don’t seem to know any songs from 1987, and all these kids were born in ’87. Syesha’s performance is sound. Poppy is a fan — she’s singing “life is cah-razy” and “ooooooooo” after Syesha. And now she’s clapping. I guess Poppy sees something in Syesha that I don’t see.

It’s Chikezie time! When was Chikezie born? 1985. Chikezie and his parents are too cute. He’s singing “If Only,” another song I don’t know. Where was I in the ’80s? (Oh, right. Elementary school.) Chikezie wasn’t as compelling on this as he has been in past weeks, but his voice was strong for most of it.

Brooke White is the same age as my brother. And I’ve heard “Every Breathe You Take”! I like her hair this week (it’s straightened and very pretty), and she’s back behind the piano. Even so, she botched the first note and had to start over. But she recovered. It was a nice rendition of a song I’m not crazy about.

Michael Johns was born in ’78. Just like me. He’s singing “We Are the Champions.” I requested “Another One Bites the Dust” at my uncle’s wedding when I was 4 or 5. Michael Johns and I are obviously soul mates. Despite the vest. I’m not a fan of ManVests. As for the song: Well played, my friend. He should only do Queen songs. Rockford called it “One of his best,” and the crowd loved it.

Carly was also born in 1983 (The Year of the Justin). Her mom looks like she might have been born in 1975. Little Carly had crazy curly hair. And she’s singing one of my favorite car wailing songs: “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Again, she fails to Bring It. That’s a really dramatic song, and there wasn’t much behind it.

What’s Little David Archuletta going to sing? I’m guessing it’ll be “I Hope You Dance.” What’s that? He was born 10 whole years before 2001? I hope you’re home in time for prom, kid. Anyway … Little David sang “You’re the Voice”? I think? I can’t understand anything Ryan is saying this evening. It sounds like it might be from a Disney-on-Broadway production. Which is where I think Little David ought to be. (Check out Simon, backing me up. “A theme park performance”! Totally!)

Kristy Lee Cook was born smiling in 1984. Ugh. And tonight, she brings us “God Bless the USA.” I used to work with a guy whose hatred for this song was incendiary. It doesn’t make me burn with hatred, but it is mighty cheesy. And Kristy Lee delivers a perfectly Branson performance. Simon loved it. Because he loves the USA.

David Cook’s mom is a scrapbooker. Awesome. He was born in ’82, and he took on “Billy Jean” and made it really mood. A rocker version of a Michael Jackson song. It was weird, but he sold it.

Who’s going home? Ramiele. I didn’t see her, but the rest of them weren’t terrible and Rockford said Ramiele wasn’t good.