Dear Lady at the Gym,
I know it’s an uncomfortable feeling, going to the gym when you’re overweight. The only thing that might make it more uncomfortable is going to the gym in a swimsuit. I know this because I’m overweight, and I was going to the pool to swim laps in my brand-new swimsuit, which does not have any sort of ruffle or skirt or anything to hide the fact that I’m shaped like an Oompa-Loompa a manatee.* And there you were, walking laps and wearing a dress. What I’m saying here is this: I understand that you might have felt insecure about being in the pool. However. Wearing a dress in the pool is definitely not the way to avoid drawing attention to oneself.
Sincerely,
Nichole
Dear Dress Lady’s Son,
Stop flopping yourself through the swim lanes, and please for the love of Peter Tork stop the falsetto hymn singing. I know it’s echoey in the pool area, and I suppose you might feel a certain thrill at hearing your ululation bounce around the room. But you’re reaching an Errol Morris level of creepitude.
Sincerely,
Nichole
*A Google Image search tells me that Oompa-Loompas are not as rotund as their name might suggest.
First, let me congratulate you on buying a swimsuit with no camouflage whatsoever. Second, what kind of dress are we talking about here? Was there a swimsuit under the dress? Because I can’t imagine the skirt of any dress staying down in the water.
It looked like your standard-issue cotton sundress, maybe around mid-calf length. She was wearing something under the dress on the bottom half, but I’m pretty sure not on top.
.-= Nichole´s last blog ..Fitness fashion follies & faux pas =-.
I bet dress lady is paid by the gym to hang out in the pool in an effort to make us sea monsters feel less uncomfortable. Very thoughtful of them really.
Oh my word. I would like to echo Brook in congratulating you on not buying a camouflaging swimsuit. As a very big girl, I say everyone has body flaws, we all know what overweight people look like (from slight to very obese) so just take it off and get in. =) I cover up when out of the water pretty much immediately, but mainly because I’ve been instructed too by my dermatologist. And the reality is that most body covering bathing suits just float in the water, anyway, making it difficult to do anything….then cling to your body’s every crevice and fold whereas a normal bathing suit smooths.
Was she wearing one of these? http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-4.html
I believe it’s what the Duggars wear while swimming…
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Something totally new =-.
Amy, that is totally awesome, and I think I need one. But no, it was more like this, only not quite as fitted in the waist.