We went out to lunch today after trying out a new church (in a nightclub; it was loud). We brought half of my avocado sandwich and most of Petey’s barbecue sandwich home with us. When we got home, Rockford used his raw power to tear the handle from the storm door on the front porch. We managed to loosely reattach it — enough to get inside — and we came in, put kids down for rests and napped/watched football.

Minutes ago, my mother-in-law arrived for her weekly outing with Poppy.

“There’s a sandwich on your front porch!” she said.

And indeed, there was. My partially gnawed avocado melt was sitting on the front step. The barbecue sandwich was untouched. Apparently, the beast is a vegetarian.