Growth

Poppy looked different yesterday when she hopped out of the car after soccer practice.

She was glowing a little more than usual, but that was probably just from spending an hour and a half running around the soccer field. She’s been growing her pixie cut out, so she’s currently a bit shaggy around the edges. But that wasn’t it either. I shrugged it off and gave her a hug and we went inside to finish our day with a late dinner and an episode of “Blackish.”

Poppy is 79 days into being 12. Twelve hasn’t been the easiest age for her. She had her first breakup this year, and a lot of her homeschooled friends joined the public school ranks. She was cut from her soccer team, and two-thirds of her three-person tae kwon do crew advanced to the next belt level without her.

She’s weathered it all with aplomb, but I know it’s been difficult for her.

Poppy’s always been slow to wake up in the mornings, much like her mother. It was lovely letting our mornings unfold slowly when she was 6. It’s more stressful now that she’s 12 and has a 12-year-old’s schedule and responsibilities. This morning, as I have most every morning for the last 12 years, I rubbed her head and told her it was time to get up.

“I’m heading to the shower,” I said. “You need to be up and getting ready when I get out.”

She stretched and grunted and I headed to the shower, full in the knowledge that I’d be waking her up again in a few minutes.

There was a Boy for a brief moment. They texted a lot and went to a dance together, and then the fascination just kind of faded away. It stung, but I think most of that sting came from not knowing how to be friends again. They’re working on it.

Those former homeschooled friends, we don’t see much of them any more. That stung, too, at first, but Poppy has found that there are more friendly kids out there and, as a pretty friendly kid herself, she hasn’t had much trouble befriending them.

Sometimes she surprises me. I came out of the bathroom this morning and there she was in my bedroom, her hair going every which way and her arms stretched to the sky.

I think the sports setbacks stung the most of all. I’m not sure what happened with soccer tryouts. She was on the team last year, and I suspect she figured that was 90 percent of the battle. Getting cut from the team was a bitter and tearful way to learn that she actually did need to bring 100 percent of her effort to tryouts.

Poppy is a red-black belt in tae kwon do, as were two of her friends. They’ve talked a lot about testing for black belt together. But when the other girls were ready to test for recommended black belt, Poppy just wasn’t quite there.

We’ve talked a lot about Kyle Schwarber this year. Schwarber won the World Series and then got sent back to the minors. Which was almost certainly mortifying for him, but he didn’t quit. He set a goal and worked hard and made it back onto the Cubs.

So Poppy, she’s taken a cue from Schwarber. She’s spent this season playing soccer at a less prestigious level, and she committed to going to two additional practices every week to help build her skills for next year’s tryouts. She’s going to as many tae kwon do classes as she can fit into a week, and she’s meeting outside of class with her instructors to ask for constructive criticism and to hone her skills.

She still looked different this morning, and I still couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was. I shrugged it off and gave her a hug and then I saw it.

Poppy’s sweet sleepy gaze was in the wrong place. Her eyes were in the wrong place, and her nose was in the wrong place, and her pillow-wild mop was in the wrong place.

Until very recently I’ve always seen her face from above. She’s been exactly the same height as me for long enough to get used to seeing eye-to-eye with her, literally if not always figuratively. And now, suddenly, I’m looking up at her.

This kid. She grew a quarter of an inch in 18 days. She’s grown leaps and bounds more than that emotionally since her birthday 79 days ago.

And all I can do is give her the tools she needs and then sit over here on the sidelines cheering her on. The growing pains are so tough, but watching her grow is such a beautiful thing.

The arc of the internet is long and it bends toward NaBloPoMo

It’s November again, and we all know what that means. Raking leaves, eating candy left over from Halloween and reading and writing a whole passel of drivel here at Butterscotch Sundae Dot Com.

I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to participate in National Blog Posting Month this year, because my laptop was stolen and with it my ability to write away from the corner of the living room where people are always looking over my shoulder or asking me if they can please, please have just one more piece of Halloween candy. But then I read something by someone who writes often and well (The Wordliest Time of the Year by Vikki Reich) and I figured I’ve NaBloPoMo’d for so many years now I might as well do it again this year — which is also, coincidentally, the reason this whole website still exists.

So anyway, Vikki’s inspirational post and the tides of history came together in one magnificent crash of motivation and I said to myself: “Let’s just start writing and see what falls out.”

And so I did, and here’s what’s fallen out thus far.

Happy November, friends. I’m glad to be hear and I hope you are, too.

A menu plan for a drizzly week

I spent the weekend between my brother’s house and their hospital, where they were welcoming my new nephew to the world. He’s tiny and adorable, and we came back home just as he was finding his voice so I’m not certain that he’s very loud but I’m betting he is. Now they’re home and working to settle in to their new normal and we’re home and settling back in to our Normal normal.

Just to prove to myself that my Normal normal is extra mundane, I’ve spent this gray and rainy morning working through the piled-up laundry and filing away printed-out recipes that were clogging the countertop. I found a couple of good ones in there that I’d forgotten about. Hopefully I won’t re-forget them and they’ll make an appearance on our table pretty soon.

This week’s menu, though, I made before excavating the counters. Here’s what we’re having for dinner this week:

Monday: Chicken Tacos
This is meant to be a Freezer Bag meal — you toss all the ingredients in a bag and freeze it and throw it in the CrockPot at your leisure — but I’m skipping the freezer step to try it out for the first time.

Tuesday: Orange Chicken
I have a coupon for a free PF Chang’s At Home meal from the freezer. I hope it’s good.

Wednesday: Undecided
I’m relatively certain I’ll be picking something up on the way home from soccer practice this week.

Thursday: Rotisserie chicken and baked sweet potatoes
Pete loves baked sweet potatoes, but we discovered a few weeks ago that a sweet potato alone left us all hungry shortly after eating. I’m adding some protein this time.

Friday: Chicken Pot Pie
I have yet to decide whether I’m going to try to use a dairy-free alternative for the gravy or if I’ll just go for it with whole milk and hope Lactaid does its thing. Have you ever tried to make a dairy-free gravy?

I just realized that we’re having chicken pretty much every day. I try to vary our proteins a bit more than that, but clearly I didn’t do a good job of that this week.

Hungry for more? Check out the Menu Plan Monday linkup at OrgJunkie.