scene: Toddler, putting small wooden animals into an ark. And then dumping them out. Over and over and over again.
“Bye giraffes. Bye alligator. Bye zuh-webra.* Bye-bye, annuner** zuh-webra. Bye el-phant. Hm… Annuner camel! Uh-oh!”
*zebra
**another
Monthly Archives: August 2007
A letter to my girl
Dear Poppy,
Here’s what I remember about the day you were born:
We’d been at the hospital for about 24 hours, I think. Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa and Papa were there on Sunday evening (they watched a Cubs game and played euchre), and Daddy spent the night there with me.
I didn’t want to take any kind of pain medication, but the nurse gave me something late Sunday night so I could sleep. And on Monday, the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. About 10 minutes later, he was my favorite person in the whole world.
Your daddy was there with me the whole time, until Papa talked him into going downstairs for some coffee. A few minutes later, the doctor came in and said we needed to get you out, that you weren’t responding well to the medicine they’d given me to help you along. I said OK, whatever would be best for you. I signed the papers, your daddy came back in, and we were off.
I remember my mouth was so dry. I remember your daddy peeking over to see them pull you out. I remember him telling me, “I see her.” I remember how time stood still after that until, finally, I heard you cry for the first time and I was at peace.
You make me laugh every day. And so many things you do and things you say, honey, I want to freeze in my mind forever.
- The way you say, “There she is!” and “Good morning, Mommy!” when I come into your room in the mornings.
- When you tell me, “I love you, too, honey.”
- Every last one of your smiles.
- The way you say “milp-k” rather than “milk.”
- The expression on your face when you charge at me full-throttle for a hug.
- The way you try to comfort me whenever you’re upset. “Mommy’s OK,” you say. “Mommy’s just fine.”
- Your glee at seeing your stuffed “buddies” – Ernie, Mickey Mouse, Grover – in the mornings and after your naps.
- Your very earnest dancing.
- Your hugs and kisses.
- Your enthusiasm.
- The way we cuddled on the couch tonight before you went to bed. And you said, “Sing ‘Peace Like a River,’ Mommy.” And, “Sing ‘Bear,” Mommy.” And you played with my hair while I sang to you.
I can hardly remember what my life was before you came along. I’m certain that I never imagined having so much joy in my life. I thank God for you every day.
Happy birthday, my peach, my plum, my little bird. I love you more than I can say.
Love,
Mommy
Pass the Brawndo
Most nights, when we aren’t busy with work or other projects, Nichole and I watch something from Netflix or a DVD we already own. We are currently halfway through The Rockford Files, season 4 — some great guest stars this season: Larry Hagman, Larry Linville, Pernell Roberts, Rita Moreno, just to name a few. Anyway, most nights we are, as my dad frequently says, “transmitting to ourselves.”
However, last night, we decided to check out the networks.
Cringe.
Here’s what was on (please keep in mind we only get 15 channels of basic cable):
1) Fox was showing something called “Hell’s Kitchen,” in which people perform in a glorified bake-off and get yelled at by a super-chef with bad hair. The prize: a high paying job working for a restaurant in Las Vegas. No Thanks.
2) ABC was showing “Fat March,” in which a bunch of overweight people go on a big nature walk and bicker at one another over food and whose feet hurt the worst. It really reminded me of the Weird Al Yankovic video for “Fat.” After “Fat March,” ABC had their ever-present “SuperNanny.” I don’t like this show because it makes me upset and feel that there are people who shouldn’t have children. And I’m tired of being angry.
3) NBC was showing a re-run of “Heroes” (a pretty decent show, although hard to follow at times) followed by “Dateline.” When I was a kid I ate these TV news magazines up. No more. The TV equivalent of the National Enquirer without the starlets.
4) I don’t remember what CBS was showing, except a re-run of “CSI:Miami” at 10:00 pm. I enjoy this show as a diversion during the fresh-run episodes, but the thought of watching one I’d already seen? Again, no thanks.
5) The other channels we get (WB, local-access talk shows, local Doppler radar, WGN, some Spike-inspired channel and TBS) were all pretty lame, too. Not surprising.
So, what did we wind up watching? Wii golf. Nichole helped me come up with a good signature move for when I make a birdie or a nice shot. It’s basically a thumbs up and a cheesy grin.
I just can’t believe the stuff that passes for entertainment. “Fat March.” I mean, really. What I love is that during the summer, we are treated to all the junk that wasn’t good enough to run during the regular season (like most of that’s much better), only in a more compact time frame.
Mike Judge recently made this very funny, underrated comedy called “Idiocracy” in which he takes a very satirical look at the future based on current trends. In said film, the future America has become a lowest-common-denominator society, in which people drink a Gatorade-like beverage called Brawndo (It’s got electrolytes!) from water fountains and the most popular TV show involves watching a guy get kicked right where it counts over and over again in any number of painful ways. Everyone has names like Frito or Lexus or Sprite. And the presidency is sponsored by Carl’s Jr.
I really hope this isn’t the direction we’re going. It’s kind of amusing to watch a satire of it all, but really, it’s scary what we call entertainment.
So for me, the best thing is to turn it off. That’s the great thing about TV’s. They haven’t made one yet that can’t be silenced with the press of a button.