I signed up awhile back to participate in the Hello, Is It My Cheesy Love Song You’re Looking For? CD swap.

I’ve made my CD, and I’m afraid it would disappoint Lionel Richie. I don’t think it has quite as much “cheese” as the swap organizers were hoping for. It turns out that I don’t have as much cheesy music as I thought I did. Or maybe I do, and I’ve fallen head over heels for it all and no longer recognize its cheesiness.

Regardless, I think it’s a pretty good CD. What do you think? Here’s the playlist:

You’re The First, The Last, My Everything Barry White
… My kind of wonderful, that’s what you are.
The slightly disco beat pushes this into the realm of cheesy. The lyrics are delightfully lovey-dovey, though. Barry White? You’re my kind of wonderful.

Head Over Heels Tear for Fears
… Something happens, and I’m head over heels.
Upon further listening, I’m not sure this is really a “love” song. It’s more angsty than I remembered it to be. I don’t think it really belongs here. But I’ve already burned the CDs, so it stays.

Just The Way You Are Billy Joel
… I could not love you any better.
Billy Joel might not be the King of Cheese, but he’s definitely on the Royal Court. He’s a duke, at least. But you know what? I love him. L o v e. And this song slays me. Every time.

Without You Motley Crue
… Without you in my life, I’d slowly wilt and die. But with you by my side, you’re the reason I’m alive.
When I was but a wee lass, I had a thing for hair bands. Scoff if you will, but I think “Without You” stands the test of time. Vince Neil’s gravelly-ness is the reason. It’s not the reason I’m alive, though. Sorry, Vince.

More Than A Woman The Bee Gees
… I know that in a thousand years I’d fall in with you again.
My dad loves The Bee Gees. We were listening to their greatest hits in the car one day, and with every song, Dad would say, “This is my favorite Bee Gees song.” I won’t say I love the brothers Gibb, but I do love The Barry Gibb Talk Show. And “More Than A Woman” is, for the record, my favorite Bee Gees song.

Power of Love Huey Lewis & The News
… Don’t need no credit card to ride this train.
I think we’ve found the King of Cheese, folks. I used to love Huey, too. I think it was before the hair bands stole my heart.

Can’t Help Falling In Love Elvis Presley
… Take my hand. Take my whole life, too.
I can’t decide if I think this song is cheesy or not. Rhinestone-studded Vegas Elvis is definitely cheesy, but hot young Elvis isn’t. Okay, young Elvis is a little cheesy, too. But the voice! Golden!

All Out Of Love Air Supply
… I’m lying of you with my head on the phone, thinking of you ’til it hurts.
Need I say more?

Born to Run Bruce Springsteen
… Together, Wendy, we’ll live with the sadness. I’ll love you with all of the madness in my soul.
I thought Springsteen was cheesy for the longest time. I blame Courtney Cox. But then I actually listened to his songs, and man. He’s such a great storyteller. “Born to Run” is such a young, desperate love story. It’s one of my favorite songs.

Something So Strong Crowded House
… Something so strong could carry us away.
This is also one of my favorite songs. Rockford laughs at me for that. At least I don’t look like a trucker, fella.

If Not For You Bob Dylan
… If not for you, winter would have no spring.
This is just a sweet song. And you can actually understand The Dylan.

Concrete & Clay Unit 2+4
… You to me are sweet as roses in the morning.
Rockford and I used this song as the recessional at our wedding. It still makes me smile.

Little More Time With You James Taylor
… I passed on the cocaine, said bye-bye to my methadone.
This is cheesy. And not a little strange. The song features methadone and a monkey. Whatever. I still like it.

God Only Knows The Beach Boys
… God only knows what I’d be without you.
This song is a little bit creepy (“What good would living do me?” What? Shake it off, guys! Let’s go surfin’!), but it’s so pretty! And the Beach Boys are cheesy. They sealed that with “Kokomo.”

Just The Two Of Us Grover Washington Jr. & Bill Withers
… Darling, when the morning comes and I see the morning sun, I want to be the one with you.
Bill Withers is terribly underappreciated and cheesy all at the same time. I don’t know what it is, exactly, that makes him cheesy. I suspect it’s the saxophone.

I’ll Dream of You Tonight Hem
… I know we’ll be together tomorrow, but I’ll dream of you tonight.
I first heard Hem when they opened for Beth Orton a few years ago in St. Louis. If I could get Sally Ellyson to come over and sing me lullabies every night, I would.

Harvest Moon Neil Young
… Because I’m still in love with you, I wanna see you dance again.
Rockford put this on I don’t know how many mix tapes for me when we were in high school. It will always make me think of him, which means it will always be one of my favorites.

Dearest Buddy Holly
… Dearest, oh you’re the nearest to my heart. Please don’t ever, ever say we’ll part.
I used to have a two-CD Buddy Holly set. I wish I could find it. I think he’s great. And this song is great, too.

I’m Glad You’re Mine Al Green
… Baby, I’m so glad you’re here. Baby, I’ve got something to say, my dear.
This song makes me swoon a little. And yet, there’s an inherent cheesiness to the Reverend. It’s a mystery.

Happier Than the Morning Sun Stevie Wonder
… I’m happier than the morning sun, and that’s the way you said that it would be.
I could listen to this song every day.

Remember Me Cat Power
… With you my life has been so wonderful.
This was originally an Otis Redding song, apparently. Cat Power’s voice does it justice. I didn’t want to like Cat Power because she calls herself Cat Power and, really. Come on. But then I listened to her and it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to call herself. This is the song that made me love her.