Me: “Please get your science homework done.”
Child: “Just a minute, I have to finish staring at the cat.”

“Hey Pete, I had an idea! I’m going to put your mattress on the bottom of your bed and turn the top into a loft for you to hang out on.”

“Noooooo!”

“What? It would be cool! Why not?”

“I heard people talking about a news story where snakes came out of a toilet and if a snake comes out of our toilet I don’t want it to be able to get in my bed.”

Pete: “My friend Chuck has six cats, and I’ve patted all of them. Even the one who’s missing an eye. That’s a very intimidating cat. He looked at me with his one remaining eye and went ‘Mrrrrrrrroowwwww.’ ”

Poppy: “I met that cat, but I didn’t want to look at his face. How did he lose an eye?”

Pete: “Chuck said he got in a fight with the snake. He won the fight, but he lost an eye.”

Poppy: “I wouldn’t call that a win.”

Pete: “Well, he’s still alive.”