My one-and-only VIP experience

Way back in June 2002, Ben Folds was doing a concert in Kansas City, and we went with our friends Chris and Sinead. It was roughly 8,000 degrees outside, and there were 900 million people there. The venue was a big, paved-over place that normally served as a farmers market. That being the case, it wasn’t graded stadium-style or anything. It was a big, flat, sun-baked expanse.

As you may know, I am short and Rockford is tall. Sinead is a little bit taller than me. Chris isn’t as tall as Rockford, but he’s tall enough that he was able to see over many of the heads in front of us. This is a very important part of the story.

There we were, amid a sea of sweaty youngsters, listening to but not actually seeing Ben Folds. So Sinead and I decided we would head toward the back of the crowd, where we’d get to breathe perspiration-free air and we’d still be able to hear the concert. When we got to the back, we noticed that there weren’t very many people at all to the side of the stage, where the VIP tent was. So we headed that way.

We had a decent view there, next to the tent, but we were still broiling. So we stared longingly at the shady space beneath the tent. And at the chairs! Because even at a concert, I’m lazy. My laziness giving me a sudden and unexpected burst of confidence, I asked the VIP tent bouncer what one had to do to get into the VIP tent. He said something about being invited by someone with the beer company sponsoring the show. My confidence evaporated, and I wandered back to my spot.

And then! A few minutes later! The bouncer waved us over and asked if we’d gotten our over-21 bracelets on the way in. I had, but Sinead hadn’t. She dashed back to the entrance, showed them her ID and dashed back. And we were in the tent! Sitting in chairs! About 15 feet from the side of the stage!

Several times — at least twice — as we lounged in the shade with our feet propped up and Ben Folds’ adorable, curly-haired little twins frolicking in front of us, we thought about Rockford and Chris. We thought, “Boy, it’s a shame they’re so tall.” But we knew that the bouncer wouldn’t have let us in if we’d had boys with us. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t feel as bad for them as I probably should have. They were less than thrilled to hear our awesome story.

And that is the Ben Folds story.