How to win acquaintances and influence very little

We’ve been attending a church across town for about two years. It’s a nice church. The full-band music ministry was a little jarring after about 10 years of attending the exclusively a capella churches of Christ, but I’ve grown to enjoy it. And the messages or sermons or whatever you’d like to call them are generally much more thought-provoking than fear-inducing. The kids love their Sunday school classes, and Rockford really likes the pastor.

But there’s still something missing, for me. Community. Friendship. Fellowship. I just haven’t found it there.

I’ve talked about this here before (here: all the way back in 2008!), my difficulty in finding connections. And I have met a few people since then, but I still don’t know that I’d qualify all that much of my progress as more than acquaintances. Maybe I don’t give out a “call me, let’s go do something!” vibe. Or maybe it’s that I don’t take that initiative and call people myself? I’m afraid of rejection, I guess.

Anyway. The church. It is nice, but I wanted to try to find something on our side of town. I was thinking that maybe if we were attending church with people who lived nearer to us, then we might run into them in the community and something like Oh Hello I See You Everywhere Let’s Be Pals would happen. So we tried a tiny church near us last weekend. It’s actually a church plant that just started meeting in a community center, and three or four of the people I’d call acquaintances attend it. Those people were kind and welcoming, but I don’t think we’re going to be going again. There isn’t a children’s ministry or really a spot to form a children’s ministry, and Rockford and the kids gave it a rather lukewarm “review” afterward.

However! They started a Bible study for women this week, and I went. My new goal is to keep going and force them to befriend me. (Sad! But true! Unless I chicken out.) (And maybe it’s already working! I was invited to A Thing after writing this, but I couldn’t gom)

But, oh hey! This wasn’t supposed to be about my sad sack of a social life. It was supposed to be about this: I’m going to a Women of Faith in a few weeks with my sister-in-law. The events are all about finding inspiration and laughter and hugging, I think. I hope to come away from the weekend inspired and with a new resolve to get out there and find my people.


(Just so we’re clear: I do not like the Moody Blues. But the song popped into my head as soon as I typed the last three words.)

9 thoughts on “How to win acquaintances and influence very little”

  1. I hope it all works out. I am looking forward to the Women of Faith event. I will also be going to the Charlotte Imagine conference. Maybe we will bump into each other while there. I have the same issue though. I have a hard time with rejection so I have a hard time making friends. 🙂

  2. I have felt very similar since moving from CoMo. It’s hard to find that strong connection again after having such a great group of friends there at church. I just started a Fri Bible class, too, a week ago.

      1. It so did! Even for someone who is still in Columbia. We have a new small group that we like, but they’re not the same. No one we hang out with outside of church. But it is something we look forward to.

  3. Nichole, I actively pray for a friend when we move to a new place, and God has granted me one (or several!) every time. We missed our CoMo group so bad when we moved to SC that we avoided participation in a Body at all. Big mistake. When we re-upped in ATL, I was so glad! And now we’re plugging into a new group again in a new place. Persistence and prayer pay!

    Also, I kind of hate that song. I didn’t know previously that I disliked the Moody Blues. Thanks for that. 🙂

  4. I really know the feeling! CoMo spoiled us. We’ve been attending a congregation here for a while but nothing like what we had! Also we live 20 minutes from the church building and while we love the youth group and all the activities its just really far for us if we want to have the kids involved in anything during the week!

  5. Have you not fallen in with the Lutherans yet? They are literally swarming around your house.

  6. Hang in there. You’re a good “monkey”. I have to admit I laughed though when I realized which Moody Blues tune you had posted with this. Cute. 🙂

Comments are closed.