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Years ago, I told you a story about a little girl and a big mess, and it was very, very gross. In summary: BabyPoppy was taking a nap and her diaper failed and horrors commenced. Pete’s version involved not only his bed but a visit over to my room, where his pal Addison was taking a nap.
Two miracles:
Addison escaped his visit unscathed, despite massive amounts of — um — scathe nearby, including on my pillow.
I didn’t vomit.
So the kids are watching Nick Jr. now, because I’ve given up on their naps after all that commotion. (Also, I don’t want to walk back into the bedroom just now. Flashbacks.) Pete has been decontaminated, Addison has been disinfected just in case, and the washer is very busy scrubbing away the awfulness. I wish there were something that could scrub my brain clean, though, because I think I’m going to have to get a new bed otherwise.
Remember the other day when Pete wouldn’t go to bed? Here’s some more of the conversation we had before I finally got off my hindquarters and took  him back upstairs.
Pete: Remember what happened when they fell down in that dark basement? Maybe that’s not good.
Me, somewhat alarmed: Who fell down in a dark basement?
Pete: Wonderpets did that. They fell down in dark basement. They won’t see anything down there. Remember what happened to that? I’ve never seen “Wonderpets All Began.” Can I put “Wonderpets All Began” on my wish list? Can I please?
Me: Yes.
Pete: Maybe we should get a new one. Maybe we should get a new one. Maybe we should get a neeeeewwww oooonnnneee.
Me: OK.
Pete: That’ll work. [turns attention to poor, long-suffering Marsha] I’m gonna get you kitty. A-poke poke pokey poke. [Marsha runs under couch; Pete gives chase] Down there? I’m all done taking naps. [He picks up a photo album.] Let me see this picture of this, Mama. Let me see this picture of this. Oh. Oh, there’s the cars. There’s Mater and McQueen and Dinoco McQueen. Oh there’s McQueen Dinoco Mcqueen, and there’s Petey and peas. There’s Petey and peas, Mama. There’s Poppy and Addison, and there’s bubble playing time, and there’s Mommy and Daddy, and there’s Lightening McQueen and Dinoco McQueen and that’s the pictures. Let’s look at them again. [rinse and repeat] Well, it’s time for me to wake up. I want to watch a cartoon.
Me: It’s time for bed, honey.
Petey: But I already take one, Mama.
Me: It’s time for night-night, all the way to morning. [Do I really talk that way? Sometimes. Whatevs.]
Petey: But it’s too late. But I was asleep. I wanna lay in Mommy and Daddy’s bed. I want to Mama. I really want to. Meow. Meoooooow. Meow meow.
 Dear Keebler, Please don't sue me.  I love to read.
My kids love to read.
My kids are homeschooled.
I hate to spend money.
This adds up to one thing: I check out a lot of library books.
I’ve tried all sorts of techniques to stay organized with them, from having a designated Library Book Basket to writing down the due dates on the calendar. Somehow, though, these things never seem to stick. And so I end up with library fines.
My local library doesn’t cut you off until you’ve racked up $20 in overdue fines, so I generally wait until I reach that milestone to pay. The last time it happened, the librarian told me about what has become one of my very favorite internet services: Library Elf. You need your library card number and PIN number to set it up, and then it sends you emails to let you know when your books are due. I haven’t had a late fee since I signed up a few months ago!
So! Library Elf works for me. Check this list of libraries to see whether if could work for you, too!
I am in the recliner, feet up. Pete should be in bed. He is not. He is trying to pull off my blanket so he can dislodge Marsha, who is hiding from the Toddler Menace.*
“No Marsha! That is not for you! That is not your blanket,” he says. “I’m gonna get you!”
Instead of getting up and taking him back to bed, I am typing this. It’s been a long day. He yanks a bit harder on my blanket.
“Marsha!” he says again. “That is not your habitat!”
*Is he still a toddler? Wikipedia says yes. For a bit longer.
Dear Lady at the Gym,
I know it’s an uncomfortable feeling, going to the gym when you’re overweight. The only thing that might make it more uncomfortable is going to the gym in a swimsuit. I know this because I’m overweight, and I was going to the pool to swim laps in my brand-new swimsuit, which
<< Continue reading "Fitness fashion follies & faux pas” >>
Those of you who’ve been hanging around here for awhile may recognize the newest addition to our household. Marsha T. Cat came to us about 7 years ago from an animal rescue place. She was an odd little kitten who liked to put waterdish-moistened tissues in her food and was frightened of the dryer (until
<< Continue reading "Don’t call it a comeback” >>
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Mighty list -
Make my own cream soda.
- Spend a week in Paris with Rockford.
- See Wilco at the Ryman.
- See Wilco in Chicago.
- Make a quilt.
- Spend a night on a train.
- Spend a week in NYC with Rockford.
- Karaoke.
- Pay for a stranger's dinner.
- Buy a house.
- Be an extra in a movie.
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Work on a Habitat house.
- Take the White House tour.
- Take guitar lessons.
- Grow my own vegetables.
- Participate in TV Turnoff week without cheating.
- Write a short story. Let someone other than Rockford read it.
- Bust through a paper wall.
- Take 100 portraits
- Read the Modern Library's 100 Best Novels
- Learn to dance.
- Go rafting with my brother.
What is this?Recommended - I've knocked this site out of commission several times. And do you know who's saved my bacon each time? Bluehost.com. It's a great hosting site with great service. Highly recommended. And yeah, I'll get a kickback if you click that link and sign up. But they really are terrific.
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