Tag Archives: bad poetry oh noetry

An acrostic poem about Thanksgiving dinner

An acrostic poem is one where the first word of every line spells something. Like this:

11/28/13
this is just to say: i stuffed a lot of butter
underneath that turkey’s skin, and I’m
really hoping it’s a delicious dish. the
kids will probably just eat mac ‘n’ cheese.
even though that turkey’s the butteriest.
you know that’s right.

And that, friends, is the last poem I’ll be writing for the foreseeable future.

A very terrible villanelle

You’re probably familiar with the villanelle as a poetic form because of Dylan Thomas and “Do not go gentle into that good night,” which besides being a terrific example of the form is a really sad and lovely poem.

The following, on the other hand, is

A far cry from Dylan Thomas
I will not write a villanelle;
I’d rather curl up with a book.
But I can’t think of a thing to write.

November had me under its spell;
its writing project I undertook.
But I will not write a villanelle.

Buzzfeed, Facebook and Jezebel,
all distractions of which I’ve betook
when I couldn’t think of a thing to write.

November continues to compel
me to churn out this gobbledygook
but I will not write a villanelle.

Pretty maids and cockleshells,
an empty old sketchbook.
And I can’t think of a thing to write.

I never said I’d write them well,
these poetic forms I’ve forsook.
And I wouldn’t write a villanelle,
But I can’t think of anything else to write.

Somewhat related: Whenever I think of Dylan Thomas, I think of Simon and Garfunkel.