Just a few days before I got that email, though, we’d decided we wanted to give Dollywood Splash Country a try. And do you know what one generally wears to a waterpark? A swimsuit. So I said yes, and a few days later the items I’d chosen arrived. And I realized that I’d ordered the brown board skirt and a black-trimmed “tankini” top, because apparently I’m bad at making things match. (I’m betting the folks at Free Country would’ve helped to fix my mistake, but I didn’t even contact them about it. My desire to not spend any more time thinking about swimsuits won out over my desire to match.)
I didn’t have as much need for a swimsuit this year as I have in summers past, because it was relatively chilly when we were at my dad’s house this year. The suit got most of its wear in my backyard and at Splash Country, where probably the most flattering photo ever of me in a swimsuit was taken. But I was too cheap to pay the $15 they wanted for a print of it, so I can’t share it with you. Let’s pretend I did, though, and now you’re all like “Wow, that’s an amazing photo of you with your family in a wave pool! Your hair looks so good!” and then I’d say, “Yeah, thanks, I’d just gotten a haircut that morning,” and you’d say, “What? Why did you schedule a haircut on the day you were going to a waterpark? That’s poor planning,” and I would agree with you because it was poor planning but my hair did look great in that picture. I regret nothing.
Anyway: swimsuit. I love half of it.
Let’s talk about the half I didn’t love first: the tankini. The front of the tankini is on the low-cut side for my comfort level (which, to be fair, tends toward the culotte suit). I think the low-cut problem is exacerbated by a lack of support in what Poppy calls the “Mommy parts” region. I need a turtleneck top with steel girding, is what I’m saying, and this was not that. I did, however, really like the racer-back aspect. I think the sturdiness of the racer back may have saved me from a humiliating incident in the wave pool, but it wasn’t enough to keep me from worrying about spillage while I was wearing the tankini.
The board skirt, however, I love. It isn’t made of typical swimsuit material, from what I can tell, so it doesn’t get all clingy when it gets wet, and it dries very quickly. It also has a velcro closure on the front, which makes it easy to get in and out of when one needs to visit the lady’s room at the pool.
So: minus-5 points to tankinis and 10 points to board shorts!
In the market for a swimsuit? Free Country has a ton of them on sale right now. This would be a great time to stock up for next summer!