Man, I want a house.

I thought that this was my dream home, but then I found this. If there are any kindly benefactors reading this, I’d be satisfied (happy, even!) with just a small house on the lake. But if you’re feeling very generous, please set me up with this monstrosity. I don’t know that I’ve “paid” my “dues,” but I am certainly “ready to start relaxing and enjoying life.”